A LITTLE NEAL, A LITTLE HERMAN

Herman Cain is such a good guy. He's going to help out with the warm-up portion of the show again this morning, for those of you who get it. Then Neal will be on all full of ranty goodness.

AND .....

Some random thoughts from Neal before he goes on the air:

President Bush is erecting a giant limestone cross on his Crawford, Texas property to get ready for his daughter's wedding tomorrow. Don't you just know that if the wedding had been at the White House by the end of the day some whack jobs are going to be complaining about the separation of church and state?

New bumper sticker: "No NIMBYS in my back yard" Should go over well in Naples and Collier County, Florida.

I need a nice t-shirt with my new knee (as featured here) printed on it. I'll wear it every time I have to clear airport security. You do know, don't you, that my days of breezing through TSA checkpoints are through. By the way ... some of you really enjoyed those pictures. What's the matter with you?

I'm lovin' that Progressive Insurance lady. You've seen the TV commercials, haven't you? Sort of reminds me of that Confederate Railroad song: ..... Now what is that title? "I love my women just a little on the trashy side." Yeah .. that's it.

Do you think things would have gone better for Hillary if she had worn more skirts during her campaign?

Obama is starting to make an issue of McCain's age. Does he really think that youth is more important than experience? Think about this one .. who do you think the weird beards of Iran would be more likely to test: Barack Obama or John McCain?

Tornadoes in North Carolina and Virginia. I'm just not going to feel right about these storms until Al Gore steps up and blames them on global warming.

As soon as relief supplies arrived in Burma (or Myanmar – or whatever) the goons in the military junta seized them. They'll now be sold on the black market and the goons will bank the money. Then .. a few months down the road .. when we get a clear idea of the death toll, the United States will be blamed for failing to rush aid.

Do you think the Bernie Ward story would be getting more coverage if he were a conservative talk show host?

OK ... time for some pills and to strap on the old microphone.

MEETING OF THE MOUTHS

If you weren't able to listen to "The Meeting of the Mouths" An Economic Roundtable with Neal Boortz, Clark Howard and Herman Cain, we now have video available! Part 1 | Part 2

ANOTHER LOOK INSIDE NEAL'S KNEE

For all you Boortz listeners out there facing knee replacement surgery, take a look at the cutting jig that has been gently (yeah, right) placed in my knee. [NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH] See those two pegs sticking up? They used a mallet to hammer those pegs into my bone so the jig would stay in place .. then they used a high-speed saw through those slots to cut off portions of my femur and tibia to make way for the implants. It's really something to look forward to! Your pal, Bionic Neal!

THESE AREN'T YOUR REGULAR READING ASSIGNMENTS

Three teens decapitate a corpse and use the head to smoke pot. What, was the local quickie mart out of rolling papers?

Beautiful Hawaiian volcano photography.

Esquire offers these 75 skills every man should master.

Hillary Clinton's open letter to Barack Obama on the Michigan and Florida vote.

Tuba Player 1, Bratty Kid 0

Time Magazine looks at 5 mistakes Hillary Clinton made. Really, just five?

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