BACK FULL BORE AGAIN!

Though hopefully it won't be all that boring. One week recuperating from knee surgery and doing the show from home is quite enough. The doctors and most of the local police don't want me to drive yet, so Belinda will be picking me up and we'll move back to the Mother Ship (Atlanta's News/Talk 750 WSB) for the show today. Thanks so much for your understanding over the past week. When all is said and done, we missed one day on the air. That's because they operated on my knee, not my mouth. Thanks also for the words of encouragement many of you have been sending via email. And to those of you who wrote to tell me of all of the horrible complications I can still face from this surgery ... thanks. I know you meant well. Yeah, right.

NEAL GETS HIS FRONT END ALIGNED

More grisly knee surgery photos - this one above isn't bad, these are NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!

CAT FIGHT!

Quite a few pundits think that Hillary is out there playing nice-nice and trying to get the veep spot on the Obama presidential ticket. Apparently Michelle Obama (and what a grand First Lady she's going to make) doesn't like Hillary Clinton even one little bit. Can't you just see Michelle Obama on the night her husband is sworn in as President: "At last, I can finally be proud of my country." She's gonna be a real winner.

OBAMA ON IRAN

As the candidate for the future commander and chief, Barack Obama better get his policies and his history in order. The latest gaffe from the Obama camp – besides one of his advisers meeting with Hamas – is Obama's stance on meeting with Iranian officials.

You may remember during a CNN/YouTube debate, Obama said that he would meet with Iran ... "and the reason is this, that the notion that somehow not talking to countries is punishment to them — which has been the guiding diplomatic principle of this administration — is ridiculous." But now Obama is backtracking on this statement, blaming John McCain for distorting Obama's stance. Too bad for the Obamamaniacs that millions of people saw the debate and know exactly what Obama had to say.

In fact, in Obama's victory speech in North Carolina, he said, "I trust the American people to understand that it is not weakness, but wisdom to talk not just to our friends, but to our enemies, like Roosevelt did, and Kennedy did, and Truman did." Only, Obama's speech writer must have forgotten to do a little bit of homework – FDR and Truman didn't talk directly to their enemies. Harry Truman, as you might remember, ended things with an atomic bomb. There's more to it, but the heart of the story is that Obama doesn't know what is appropriate for a commander and chief, and it seems he hasn't been taking notes for the presidents of the past.

SECOND AMENDMENT ... NOT IN THIS COURTROOM

There's an upcoming trial in New York City involving a gun shop owner who was sued by the city. But in this trial, lawyers for Mayor Bloomberg are asking the judge to ban any reference to the Second Amendment during the trial.

What the hell? We're supposed to be a nation of laws, and these LAWyers want any mention of the supreme law of the land barred from a legal proceeding?

The trial is set to start May 27. It actually involved a gun shop here in our home state of Georgia called Adventure Outdoors. New York City is claiming that this store is responsible for a disproportionate number of firearms recovered from New York City criminals. This isn't the only gun shop New York City is taking to task ... this is just one of 27 out-of-state gun shops being sued by New York City.

In this case a motion has been filed for Judge Jack Weinstein not to allow the store's lawyers to argue that the suit infringes on any Second Amendment rights of the gun store or its customers. Bloomberg's lawyer who filed the motion is seeking a ban on "any references" to the amendment. The brief says, "Any references by counsel to the Second Amendment or analogous state constitutional provisions are likewise irrelevant."

Irrelevant. Gotta love it. Our Constitution is irrelevant.

SPEAKING OF JUDGES ...

Check out this government bureaucrat, who has let power (and BigMacs) go to her head. Elizabeth Halverson is a judge in Nevada. She also happens to be a complete blubberbutt (just look at her fat little cheeks) and uses a motorized scooter to get around the courthouse. Fine. But now she has decided that her former bailiff was just the person to cater to her lardass needs ... she had him doing things like putting on her shoes, massaging her back, covering her with blankets for naps and, making sure that her oxygen tank is filled. She even asked the bailiff, "Do you want to worship me from near or afar?"

This judge also hired her own body guards because she didn't trust courthouse security to protect her. She also has her husband sworn in so that she could ask him under oath whether he had completed all of his chores at home. Wait, this woman was married?

Anyway ... she has since been suspended from her Las Vegas courtroom, suspended from the bench and now is facing charges of judicial misconduct. She is being charged not only for misusing her position and treating her staff like houseboys but for tainting juries and falling asleep on the bench.

Hey, look, she's also up for re-election. Gee, why doesn't she appear in her political ad? Good luck with that.

THE LATEST GLOBAL WARMING TAX

When you want to save the planet from a non-existent crisis ... taxes and wealth redistribution seems like the way to go. In Estonia, farmers will now be taxed for the methane emissions produced by their cattle. Cattle produce the largest amounts of methane gas through belching and flatulence ... this accounts for 15-25% of overall gas emissions. One cow has the ability to produce an average of about 350 liters of methane and 1,500 liters of carbon dioxide each and every single day.

Apparently this isn't the first country to propose taxes along these lines. New Zealand also proposed a flatulence tax because New Zealand cattle are responsible for 90% of the country's methane emissions.

SUSPENDED FOR NOT STANDING

Do you think students should be required to stand during the Pledge of Allegiance? Yes No

A principal at a government school in Minnesota suspended three students because they didn't stand to say the Pledge of Allegiance. The eighth graders at Dilworth-Glyndon-Felton Junior High School in northwestern Minnesota were given in school suspension for the offense. The principal says that they violated the district policy, which requires all students to stand during the Pledge of Allegiance. They are, however, not required to recite the pledge.

The principal, Colleen Houglum, has since acknowledged that the "all students will stand" policy might need to be changed in order to protect the individual forms of expression.

Welcome to your local government school. "You WILL show allegiance to this country or you will be suspended!"

LETTER TO THE EDITOR FROM BRANDY

A woman by the name of Brandy from Indiana is really concerned about her child's school being used as a voting station. Here's what this soccer mom has to say ... imagine the horror.

In a time of increasing school violence and terrorism, why in the world are we opening our schools, occupied with hundreds of children, for voting?

I took my child to Noblesville Intermediate School late (we went to vote) on Tuesday. To my surprise, adults were filing in the front doors alongside us. They were there to vote. Besides a roped-off area to the left and a sign with an arrow, there was no one directing the voters or protecting our children. As I left the building and drove to work, I realized just how dangerous the situation was. Children playing freely on the playground, no one monitoring the parking lot, and no one monitoring the traffic into the school. With all of the libraries and churches available, shouldn't we draw the line and eliminate using schools as voting stations?

Now here is a woman who is doing her part for the wussification of America. What do you want to bet that in a few years she'll be dropping her children off at the mall ... because she's too lazy to take care of them.

Hey, who needs Maury Povich? Spotted in the Atlanta area.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Mike Adams: Nothing is Certain but Death and the FairTax

George Will has created a great list of questions for Barack Obama based on his policies.

Barack Obama fired one of his Middle East policy advisers after finding out that the adviser had held meetings with Hamas. I think the expression "covering your ass" comes in here.

John McCain has decided that a great way to rally his Republican base would be to do a climate change tour.

The US Agriculture Secretary says that we are "flat out wrong" to say that ethanol production is affecting food production or prices.

The Wall Street Journal is doing an excellent job of keeping us up to date on Hugo Chavez's connections with FARC.

Who's giving the most to the World Food Program ... I'll give you a hint: it's not the OPEC nations.

Al Sharpton owes $1.5 million in overdue taxes and associated penalties ... must be because the IRS is racist. I'm sure he'll find an excuse.

British Airways will no longer will serve beef because of "religious restrictions" ... in other words, eating beef is offensive to Hindus. I guess that means you can't bring your cow with you either.

The vast majority of tax payers in Great Britain say that they are not willing to pay higher taxes in order to combat climate change.

When the Minutemen in California adopted a highway near a border patrol checkpoint ... their blue Adopt-a-Highway sign was taken down after some state legislatures complained to the Department of Transportation.

North Carolina may find itself in a battle over allowing illegal aliens into community colleges. The Attorney General's office says no, but the governor says yes.

Just in case you were not aware, the wealthy people of North Carolina are not paying their "fair share" of taxes.

Arizona is so concerned about sexual predators on the Internet that they now have a bill that would make it a felony for someone to lie about their age for the purpose of luring children into sex.

The Louisiana state legislature is working on a bill that would prohibit students from wearing bullet-proof vests and body armor to school.

The Organization of the Islamic Conference has started a project called the Islamophobia Observatory "in order to eliminate the worldwide waves of fear of Islam."

A family in New York is suing their government school after a teacher taped their 4-year-old girl's mouth shut. Since the incident, the little girl has been crying and having nightmares. Hey .. it's the mother who sent her child to the government to be educated. Sue her!

Parents of graduating students in the Dallas Independent School District should be very proud ... 75% of the graduating students can't read above an 8th grade reading level.

A father has been sent to jail after his daughter, who is 18-years-old, failed to get her GED.

Are you homeschooled in Tennessee? The government may not want your service because you weren't educated in its schools.

Gotta love stories like this ... a Thai restaurant in Oregon will no longer let children under the age of six in the restaurant. I love it. Hopefully this will catch on.

A woman is suing the town of Norwalk, Connecticut after her daughter stepped in dog feces, which "ruined" the rest of their day.

A 78-year-old Florida man has been accused by the government of running an illegal taxi service after he gave a ride to woman who needed to get home from the grocery store. Government at work.

Here's another great example of our ridiculous war on drugs. Apparently all you need in your house is a scale and some small plastic bags to run a drug enterprise.

One homeowner took matters into his own hands when his truck was truck was stolen.

Here's what some Virginia residents have to say to their state government officials who say that armed patrons would be unwelcome in Northern Virginia restaurants.

Some Walgreens customers saved a woman from potentially fatal diabetic coma by grabbing OJ, some sugar, and a glucometer off the shelves. Now the Walgreens manager wants the good Samaritans to pay for the items used to save the woman.

A gas station clerk was fired after his store was robbed. He was fired for keeping too much money in the register.

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