YOU CAN THANK GOVERNMENT FOR PRICE INCREASES

What the government and the Bush administration doesn't want to tell you is that food prices are increasing because of government. Government demanded a five-fold increase in the production of corn-based ethanol fuel in order to appease environmentalists. Now the Bush administration wants to blame rising food prices on high energy costs. Could he possibly be talking about the high ethanol prices that are caused by all of those government subsidies for the ethanol industry? Just wondering.

Just take a look at the facts. Consumer food prices generally rise by about 2.5% a year. In 2007, these prices rose by 4%. That is the largest increase in 17 years. Stand by and look at the bright side ... they're only going to get higher as our governments react to this idiotic global warming alarmism and turn more of our arable land to the production of ethanol and other bio fuels.

Here are some facts for you. Ethanol makers will consume one quarter of the 13 billion US corn crop this year. Chickens and cows (Eggs, beef, milk) don't appreciate this. Right now in the United States, there are about 35 million acres enrolled in the US Conservation Reserve Program. This is where the government pays landowners to sit on their butts and do nothing with their "environmentally sensitive land." Even if just 5 million of those acres came out of the program, and you planted corn on every inch of that land, you might affect the price by maybe 20 cents.

I read this statistic on the air yesterday, but it is worth putting it down in writing for you to really see what is going on here. It takes 232kg of corn to fill a 50 liter tank of gas with ethanol. That corn used to fill one car tank with ethanol is enough to feed one child for an entire year. A year! Maybe we can genetically alter babies to drink ethanol.

Here are some more great facts on ethanol that these global warmers won't tell you. You thought oil companies got large subsidies?? Think again.

Is there a good side to increases in food prices? Well, you might think that if food were more expensive people would start eating less. That might cut back on the obesity epidemic. Sorry, doesn't work that way. When the food prices go up people will just turn to more starchy foods .. and the broadening of America will continue.

OBERSTAR WILL TRY TO SCREW THINGS UP ..... AGAIN

Yesterday you heard about the proposed merger between Delta and Northwest Airlines. Perhaps the best line of the day came from some fool who complained about the announced merger saying that the two airlines hadn't consulted the baggage handlers before they made their announcement. How unbelievable is this? Can you imagine the management of an airline arranging a merger without consulting bagbusters?

Anyway ... Minnesota Democrat Jim Oberstar (Northwest is in Minnesota) has pretty much vowed that he is going to stop this merger. I guess the unions are breathing down his neck pretty hard ... especially those baggage handlers. Oberstar probably thinks that the financial health of these two airlines must rest on the approval of the people who make us wait a minimum of 45 minutes after a flight for our bags.

Now ... do you remember Oberstar being in the news lately? On April 3rd he nailed the FAA in a congressional hearing. He announced beforehand that he was going to do it .. and then he did it. He slammed the FAA for being, in his words, too "cozy" with the airline industry and not having an sufficient inspection program to keep the flying public safe. Some think that Oberstar was grandstanding; more interested in attention than in aviation safety. So, or so the story goes, the FAA decides to show Oberstar that if he wants to browbeat them on the inspections issue, they'll by God call for some inspections. The result? The American Airlines debacle of last week.

Don't you just love it when politicians flex their muscles for show?

JUST A RUMOR

But an intriguing one at that. Believe it or not there are some Delta pilots who will talk to me. They don't want their friends to know ... but they'll talk to me. Yesterday I heard a rather interesting rumor about the Delta/Northwest merger. It involves, believe it or not, medical exams.

Commercial airline pilots, you see, have to take a physical every six months. They go to an FAA approved doctor and get their tickers and other things checked out. Many airlines have doctors on staff who perform these physicals while many others allow their pilots to go to private practitioners for what they call their "medical." Delta, I'm told, used to have a staff physician. Now most Delta pilots go to private doctors.

So .. here, as I understand it, was the rub. Some Delta pilots were concerned that under this merger they might end up having to get their medicals from Northwest doctors. The concern is that doctors loyal to Northwest pilots might go a little rough on the Delta pilots, resulting in some failed medicals.

Lost your medical, lose your job. Sounds like a plausible fear to me. Any comments?

OK ... I CAN'T VERIFY THIS ONE EITHER

But .. it's fun, so we're going to go with it.

The story is that two magazines decided to do a survey on "what do people fear the most?" One magazine, Country Living, had almost a 100% white readership. The other was Ebony/Jet magazine where the readership is somewhat different.

First .. the results from Country Living. What do their readers fear most?

1. Nuclear war or an attack on the United States
2. A child or spouse with a terminal illness
3. Themselves with a terminal illness.

And what do the readers of Ebony/Jet fear most:

1. Ghosts
2. Dogs
3. Registered mail.

Now ... why did I post this? First .. it passed the Snopes test ... and besides, remember my goal of making the MediaMorons.loons website again this week?

SORRY, MARIETTA DAILY JOURNAL .......

I saw your story this morning ... and I want to apologize. We didn't mean to crash your Internet site. But, after all, that video of Cobb County Commissioner Annette Kesting was just to delicious to pass up. I really don't know what was more amusing; her claim that George Bush returned her phone call within a hour, or the fact that she understands that she is not really all that "artistic." (We've worked on this here at Boortzland, and we think she may have meant to say "articulate," but we just can't be sure.)

Maybe you would like to read some of the emails we received from those who did get through before we trashed your website. Sorry ... most of the reactions are not printable. Suffice it to say, there are a large number of people who want to know just what area of Cobb County she represents so that they can either (a) move out, or (b) make sure they never move in in the first place.

Who destroyed Cobb County Commissioner Annette Kesting's reputation? the media oh, she took care of that all by herself

By the way: Who was that character with her there at the press conference. Did I hear something about a "New Order" and that he was some sort of a human rights activist? Lordy, but I do love activists. His standing up there with that stern looking fellow in the background reminded me somehow of a Black Panther event from the 70's..

Anyway ... now that your web gurus have moved the video to a safer site where we can't replicate the harm we caused yesterday, I want to post the link again so that some of my listeners who missed this can have their turn. So --- fans of the English language and representatives of the people with actual communications skills --- here you go. Sit, stay, and click here.

GAS TAX HOLIDAY

John McCain is suggesting that we institute a gas tax holiday. The "holiday" will be from Memorial Day to Labor Day, and it will entail the suspension of the 18.4% federal gas tax and the 24.4% diesel tax. This would amount to something like $10 billion in government revenue. He also wants to stop adding to the oil reserves in order to lessen the worldwide demand for oil.

But there are two big opponents to this idea: Congress and the states. And it all comes down to money. You see, the federal gas tax helps pay for highway projects. So state and local officials are not willing to have their source of revenue compromised.

(Meanwhile, around Atlanta the government is busy repaving roads like there's no tomorrow .. and from my perspective most of those roads don't look like they need the work.)

McCain also laid out his plan to help the poor middle class and eliminate wasteful spending:

He wants to raise the tax exemption for each dependent child from $3,500 to $7,000. Aides estimated it would cost $65 billion over one year to double the tax exemption, but argued that McCain would offset such expenses by cutting federal spending.

Cutting federal spending? Bwahhahahahahaha! Yeah, like that's going to happen. Not in my lifetime.

McCCain wants to require more affluent people — couples making more than $164,000 — enrolled in Medicare to pay a higher premium for their prescription drugs than less-wealthy people. Consider the fact that the more affluent you are the more you have paid in Medicare taxes during your lifetime .. and now you have to pay more for your drugs? OK ... someone start spouting off that "fair share" nonsense.

The next idea is to offer people the option of choosing a simpler tax system with two tax rates and a standard deduction instead of sticking with the current system. FairTax, dammit. FairTax. Under the FairTax you offer people the option of not paying federal taxes at all!

Then there's McCain's idea of suspending for one year all increases in discretionary spending for agencies other than those that cover the military and veterans while launching an expansive review of the effectiveness of federal programs. Aides estimated a one-year freeze would save $15 billion in the first year and $150 billion over 10 years. Now .. what do they mean by freeze? Freezing spending at current levels? Or freezing spending after the automatic increases our congress has built into the system.

ARE WE CLOSE TO STRIKING IRAN?

While merely speculation, a leading member of America's Jewish community has come forward to say that an American military strike against Iran is not only on the table, but it is extremely likely. The source says that Israel is preparing for heavy casualties, as it will be the expected target of Iranian retribution.

Here are some of the reasons cited for why Bush is prepared to act before Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad could acquire nuclear weapons.

• The administration does not believe that Iran has stopped its nuclear weapons program.
• The commander of US forces in the Middle East resigned in March after breaking with President Bush's strategy on Iran. He did not want to be in the chain of command when the order came to strike Iran.
• Saudi Arabia is taking steps to counter "radioactive hazards" resulting from an American attack on Iran's nuclear facilities.
• General Petraeus has stepped up his criticism of Iran.
• Bush listed Iran along with al Qaeda as the two greatest threats to America.

Meanwhile ... we have the "peace at any price" crowd out there who will say that nobody should attack Iran until they actually unleash their first nuclear weapon.

TOO MANY DOGS

A man by the name of Henry Carroll lives in Fayetteville, North Carolina. He is in trouble with the government because he agreed to look after his son's two dogs. You see, his son Adam is a soldier serving in Iraq. He is scheduled to return in December. Adam asked his father to look after his two dogs. The problem is that Adam's father already had three dogs of his own, which would bring his grand total of dogs in the house to five.

So ... here comes government. The county says that five dogs are too many. Apparently if you are the owner of five dogs, this means that you are running a kennel. And guess what? Henry is not licensed to run a kennel. But when Henry asked the country to clarify the definition of a kennel, he got many different responses. One county official defined a kennel as a place with eight or more dogs or cats. Another says that any premises with four or more dogs is considered a kennel. Typical government.

So then Henry Carroll actually got the Army to write a letter saying that the two dogs belonged to his son. But the county officials didn't buy it. The county government bureaucrats said that since Henry's son Adam didn't sign the letter, it might not be valid. Apparently being signed by Adam's platoon leader was not enough for some lardass county employee.

In the meantime, Henry says that if he is forced to give up any animals, he will give up two of his own dogs. He says he would rather do that than break a promise to his son.

Neal Warholized! Make your own!

READING ASSIGNMENTS

President Bush is supposed to make his speech on global warming today. Looks like he's bought into it folks, or he's trying to preempt the leftist nut cases. Why can't he lead on this issue instead of blindly follow?

Obama says that the attacks on his bitter remark signal a nation in the midst of "political silly season." He says that bitter people turn to guns and God .. and we are the silly ones?

In his continued attempts to back pedal out of his bitter comment, Obama now says that those who don't see bitterness in those parts of the country are "out of touch."

If elected president, Barack Obama says that he would "immediately review" potential crimes of the Bush administration. The shine is wearing off this guy really fast.

Barack Obama's flaws just seem to be multiplying. Even with all that charm, people are beginning to see the elitist liberal underneath.

China wants an official apology from CNN after a commentator said that the Chinese were "goons" and that their products were "junk." OK .. I'll do it for CNN. Hey, China! We're sorry you're goons and your stuff is junk.

An article written by Barack Obama's father has surfaced. It's called "Problems Facing Our Socialism." Wonderful, just wonderful.

Here's a letter worth reading, written by a group (including a Nobel Peace Prize recipient) asking the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change to admit that there is no observational evidence that CO2 is causing the earth to warm.

Wal-Mart has agreed to track the sale of firearms more closely, which includes videotaping sales of guns.

This news should not be surprising ... the American medical system is not ready to handle the baby boomer generation.

Even the twits on The View brought up the idea of the FairTax yesterday on their show. Although they didn't call it the FairTax, they called it Mike Huckabee's plan for a flat consumer tax.

A Turkish man is being sentenced to death in Saudi Arabia for "cursing the name of Allah." Just damn.

I don't even have to say how asinine our government education system is in this country when school children can't even play tag because it is "aggressive."

Brigitte Bardot is on trial in France for insulting Islam after saying that the Muslim community was "destroying our country and imposing its acts." I guess truth isn't a defense in France.

Bored? Here's a huge database of vintage ads. Love this canned music graphic, a Pan American Airways ad from 1941, and who knew deodorant could be "fluffy?"

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