Friday -- May 27, 2005
 OH .. THAT EVIL RIGHT-WING MEDIA BIAS.
 If you really want to be all-but guaranteed to pick up on a bit of leftist Bush bashing on television, there's no better place to turn than to NBC's "Law & Order" TV series. The season finale of the show featured a storyline on judicial security. Detectives think a white supremacist is involved in the shootings of a judge's family. Here's part of the dialogue from that show:
ADA RON CARVER: An African American judge, an appellate court judge, no less. MAN: Chief of DS is setting up a task force. People are talking about multiple assassination teams. DET. ALEX EAMES: Looks like the same shooters. CSU found the slug in a post, matched it to the one that killed Judge Barton. Maybe we should put out an APB for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-Shirt.
Come on, folks. Can it be any more blatant? The strong suggestion here is that Tom DeLay supporters are the type that would be likely to shoot federal judges. Now ... tell me that there is no left-wing bias in this writing. Needless to say, Tom DeLay is torqued. He's fired off a letter to NBC protesting. It will go nowhere. In fact, NBC Entertainment President Kevin Reilly has come up with an excuse ... sort of: Reilly says: "The script line involved an exasperated detective bedeviled by a lack of clues, making a sarcastic comment about the futility of looking for a suspect when no specific description existed," Yeah, we're buying that one. Good try, Kevin. Now ... The Talkmaster has turned screenwriter. I thought I would give writing a few scenes for Law & Order a shot. Here's my first effort: ADA RON CARVER: "She looks like she was alive when the car went off the bridge" MAN: "Why didn't she get out? The water is only four feet deep here." CARVER: "Dunno. Maybe she was dazed. The door might have been jammed. Anyway, she suffocated. Lack of air. Must have been a brutal death. MAN: "Was she driving when the car went off the bridge?" CARVER: "Doesn't look like it. The seat is too far back for her to have been driving. Looks like someone taller .. a lot heavier." DET. ALEX EAMES: "Check the car to see if it has a Ted Kennedy bumper sticker."
What fun! Here's another one. CARVER: "Someone give her a tissue. Her lip's all bloody. POLICE OFFICER: "That's the way we found her." CARVER: "Were" POLICE: "In a hotel room. She was just laying on the bed, bleeding from this bite mark on her lip. Pretty beat up. CARVER: "What's she saying?" POLICE: "Says she was raped. Says some guy invited himself up to her room. He was going to talk to her about a job or something. He raped her." CARVER: "The blood?" POLICE: "He bit her on the lip." DET. ALEX EAMES: "Let's put out an APB for someone wearing a Bill Clinton t-shirt."
Sorry ... I just can't stop myself. This script writing stuff is fun! POLICE: We think she was involved in setting this whole thing up. CARVER: How's that? POLICE: We think she set up a phony corporation for them so that they could operate below the radar. CARVER: We're going to need proof. We'll need her billing records. POLICE: We got a warrant. Looked for them. They're not there. CARVER: Did you ask her? POLICE: Says they're gone. She doesn't have them, and doesn't even know if any exist. DET. ALEX EAMES: Sounds like the Hillary Clinton excuse. Keep looking, they'll turn up. Probably with her fingerprints and handwriting all over them. She'll keep denying it though .. even when the evidence is right there in front of her.
I ask you to imagine, if you can, the outrage that would come pouring forth from the nation's liberal media if any of those punchy little vignettes actually appeared on a network television show. We would see stories damming NBC for using that dialogue and making those references to liberal icons. But in this case all NBC did was suggest that DeLay supporters kill federal judges. That's not bias .. that's entertainment. CALLS FOR KNIFE CONTROL
A story out of Great Britain this morning brings to the fore an issue we're likely to see in this country soon. And that is this: what is next on the list for the gun control crowd? After all, since guns kill people and are bad for you, they have to be banned or at least "controlled" by the government.
Which leads us to the absurdity going on in the UK. Apparently violent crime is on the increase across the pond...and kitchen knives are the weapon of choice in as many as half of all stabbings. The research, published in the British Medical Journal, says all too often, a kitchen knife is all too available. So what's their answer?
Obviously, the answer is knife control. They say long, pointed knives shouldn't be available at all. After all, you could kill somebody with it! As ridiculous as this sounds, they'll probably implement some new guidelines. Expect to see somebody start to suggest this nonsense over here.
Taken to its logical conclusion, imagine where else this argument might lead. What other common household items can be used to commit murder? Knives, baseball bats, frying pans....it all should obviously be banned. And what doesn't kill does harm....ever been beaten with a coat hangar? Maybe we need small appliance control! Amazing, isn't it? First in Britain, then coming to the United States, an effort to ban all items that could possibly be used to harm someone. Soon we'll all be living in padded rooms with a government handler appointed to every household to tell us what we can own, what we can't own, what we can handle, and what we have to leave alone. Great Britain is turning into one huge kindergarten. We're next.
5 CASES OF KORAN MISHANDLING
In case you found yourself lying awake last night in a cold sweat, worried about the desecration of the almighty Koran by your government, there's some reassuring news this morning. The Pentagon is reporting that there were only 5 cases of Koran mishandling that they could find at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
 Still no evidence of the Koran being flushed down the toilet. By the way, have you seen a copy of the Koran? It's pretty thick. That would take some toilet to flush it down. Not sure what the water pressure is like down at Gitmo, but that's just an observation. You sure as hell couldn't flush a Koran down one of these idiotic, government-mandated water saver toilets.
But back to the five incidents. Four were by guards and one by an interrogator. This is out of three years. So how was the Koran "mishandled?" The Pentagon actually said this with a straight face:
In some of the incidents, guards "either accidentally touched a Koran, touched it within the scope of his duties, or did not actually touch the Koran at all. We considered each of these incidents resolved. In 2 other cases "we found that a Koran was either touched or stood over during an interrogation. The first incident does not appear to be mishandling, as it involved placing two Korans on a television. The Koran was not touched during the second incident, and the interrogator's action during the interrogation was accidental."
They're actually serious. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. HOLLYWOOD BOX OFFICE DOWN
Well, here it is Memorial Day weekend. If you're the movie-going type, Hollywood is a bit concerned about you. The new Star Wars movie aside, attendance at the movies is way, way down. The movie studios are starting to really worry...and they might be wondering what the problem is. Since this one is easy to call, here's a little free advice for the movie business on why people aren't going to the movies so much anymore.
1.) DVDs. Let's face it: do you want to pay $10 a person to go sit in a theater with a bunch of screaming kids, inconsiderate adults and the most irritating ambiance on Earth, or just wait a couple months and pay $15-$20 for the DVD to watch it at home in peace and quiet? That one is easy to answer.
2.) The product sucks. How many lame comedies, re-made 1970's TV shows, boring dramas and the same crap movies over and over again do they expect people to watch? Hey Hollywood...where are the war movies? How about showing our boys on the big screen killing terrorists? (oops..."insurgents") Can we get some decent action movies?
I have personally been to a movie theatre exactly once in the last two years. I opted for a home theatre system where I can watch movies in peace and quite, with no sticky soda residue on the floor. The DVDs are coming out quicker and quicker, and I'm more than willing to wait. I'll watch the new Star Wars movie .. .but only when I can slam the DVD into my system at home or pull it up on pay-per-view. In the meantime, imagine my distress at Hollywood's distress. Just desserts, I'd say. REDNECK SCRAP BOOK At the convenience store, a redneck can quickly pick up essentials. More redneck scrapbook pictures. Oh, and a bonus sent in by Michael D.: the Redneck IQ Test. READING ASSIGNMENTS Here's your link to one of our Nuze stories.. Doctors in England are calling for a knife ban. That's right, a knife ban. Too many people are being killed with long, pointy knives. Take me now, Lord. The judge in the Wacko Jacko trial has rejected a request to show pictures of his private parts. In other news, Michael Jackson actually has private parts. At least jurors won't have to lose their lunch.
Good news, ladies! Smoking amongst women is actually down. This means when it comes to smokers, women are smarter than the men. By the way, there is no greater show of stupidity than by someone smoking cigarettes.
So why are there so many illegal aliens in this country? Because they're doing the jobs Americans won't, right? Jon Dougherty says illegals actually cost more than they contribute.
The new Hispanic mayor of Los Angeles says Mexico will play an important role in shaping his policies. Nice to know the people out in LA are in such good hands.
Justice has been served: charges against 2nd Lt. Ilario Pantano have been dropped. The Military is on a roll lately with getting some of these frivolous cases dismissed.
The United States is currently having a problem recruiting people for the Military. Robert Novak says the #1 problem is the war. Here's an idea...how about hiking up that pay.
Some want to limit the ability of gays and women to serve their country. Nonsense, says Max Boot. Everybody should be allowed to contribute, and the U.S. should be less concerned with winning the culture war at home than winning the war on terrorism abroad
No matter how you spin it, David Limbaugh calls "the deal" over the judicial filibuster a big loser for the Republicans. As a matter of fact, he comes right out and calls it a betrayal.
The filibuster deal in the Senate is all about John McCain....and Thomas Sowell says McCain has once again sold out his party in the name of gaining the approval of the mainstream media.
On Monday, Republicans could have voted for and passed new rules guaranteeing an up or down vote for all judicial nominees. Instead, says Charles Krauthammer, they flinched. Too bad. | 
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