I've been fortunate enough to wait on ladies and gentlemen for the Ritz-Carlton for almost three years now. A majority of my time has been spent in In-Room Dining. My dad forwarded this post to me and I just couldn't take this one lying down. How it should be:

"Good morning! Thank you for calling In-Room Dining, Mr. Boortz, this is Stephen, how may I assist you?

Bacon and eggs? Absolutely Mr. Boortz, do you like your bacon crispy and how do you prefer your eggs?

Scrambled? Certainly. Our eggs are served with breakfast potatoes as well as your choice of toast. We have available: white, wheat, rye, sourdough, multigrain, english muffin, bagels, or breakfast pastries such as croissants, chocolate croissants, muffins, and/or a danish.

English muffin sounds great!

And would you like a glass of any of our juices, a pot of coffee, or perhaps hot tea or hot chocolate?

Small pot of coffee? Certainly, Mr. Boortz.

Please allow me to repeat your order:

2 eggs scrambled, crispy bacon, an english muffin, as well as a small pot of regular coffee. And just so you know we will have ketchup on the side for your potatoes, tabasco just in case for your eggs, as well as butter and jelly for your muffin, and cream and sugar to go along with your coffee and an ice water. Is there any other way at all I may be of assistance, Mr. Boortz? Have you received your Atlanta Journal Constitution already this morning? Great! Thank you again for calling and we look forward to seeing you in about twenty-five minutes with your order. If there is anything I can do for you please don't hesitate to call, once again my name is Stephen. Good morning to you as well, Mr. Boortz!"

After all, the Ritz-Carlton is a place where the genuine care and comfort of our guests is our highest mission. We pledge to provide the finest personal service and facilities for our guests who will always enjoy a warm, relaxed, yet refined ambiance. The Ritz-Carlton experience enlivens the senses, instills well-being, and fulfills even the unexpressed wishes and needs of our guests.

Please come visit me at our new resort in Lake Tahoe and treat yourself to a real In-Room Dining experience, it's our pleasure.

didn't know it was Shecky Green -- I heard it years ago on "John Boy and Billy"

My stepfather used to work at Burger King in Cabbagetown in the 70s. He said the non-caucasians would order a "chee waffer, heavy mairnay, no urnyun, and a big urnj drank". He would announce it just like that in the microphone to the guys in the back until his manager caught wind of it.

With such charming posts as this one, I really can't see why anyone would ever allege that conservatives are racist.

I'm never listening to you again! Oh, wait, never mind, that was actually so funny I nearly choked on my lunch. Copying and pasting into an email to my brother, dad and wife right now.

That's an old one but still amusing!

Oh please. It's not the workers fault at all. I blame the hotel for hiring someone who can't speak English and be understood. That's not racist at all. It's making fun of the hotel, not the worker.

You had same person I got while trying to order pizza here in Illinois. Gave up and had a Little Cesars.

Reminds me of Andy Kaufman's character on "Taxi."

Alright, that's funny! Mingo, go hug a tree and recycle somthing. Coming from a guy that has traveled to Japan a few times that is spot on EXACTLY how that conversation would go if you were staying in a Japanese hotel. THe Japanese people have the most welcoming and respectful culture of ANY country I have visited, they are gracious people and they love Americans. They laugh at themselves and us in regards to our respective accents. My favorie is when I taught them the traditional southern greeting of asking "how ya mama an'em" and the respons is "a-ight". They love it and we all laugh and it's all good.

I was able to read the script with little difficulty, but then I was a big fan of Jose Jiminez when he was a popular television celebrity. Racist? Nah.

The previous posters crediting this to John Boy & Billy of Premier Radio's The Big Show are correct.

It is alleged to be 'recorded' from the visit to Japan that the show did in the late 90's. John Boy is notorious for ordering room service & this was the conversation he had when he tried to order breakfast. Recently, the hosts were talking about their overseas trips & the Japan trip was revealed to have been scheduled to allow one of the hosts to acquire Japanese market Pokemon stuff.

do you know the difference between......

select
and
choose











select: deciding to take one thing among many others.......











choose: you put on your feet........senor

I've been told that it was Jimmy Carter who got this type of idiocy started. Importing people who speak boogalaboo. With last names like Patel. Any truth to it?

Neal, you neglected to credit John Boy and Billy, that radio team from Charlotte, NC for this bit of humor. This is an old comedy routine of theirs. It's funnier if you hear it, than if you read it, because you get the accent.

It seems that this person is Swede with a slight hispanic accent

That's about right.

DAT'S RACSIS!

Neal- that is a racist joke adn a very bad joke too. I'm not sure if its emant to make fun of hispancis or indians, but it's bad either way.

Folks like you need to remember that folks like us are going to outnumber you very soon and the shoe will be on the other foot. Please stop the hate sir.