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"When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it."

Frederic Bastiat

INVASION OF THE BODY SCANNERS

By
Neal Boortz
@ October 2, 2009 8:18 AM Permalink | Comments (26) | TrackBacks (0)

The TSA is going to expand the use of body screeners that actually look under your clothing. This is just fine with me. I have a wonderful titanium knee. It's about 18 months old now ... and it's absolutely golden. One of the best things I ever did for myself. Only one problem ... and that would be the occasions where I fly commercial instead of taking my own airplane. The routine is always the same. Everything off - right down to the belt. Everything out of my pockets ... and still we get the "beep beep beep" bit. I just walk directly into the penalty box while someone screams "male alert!"

OK ... here's the first problem. Why do I have to be groped by a male? Why can't a female do the job? Females give me massages - and, in spite of their protests, I'm completely nekkid. Why can't a female handle the search? Damned TSA prudes. This is a special problem at SF0, Anyway ....

When they finally get some male over there to handle the screening - and sometimes it takes a while - they have to go over my feet, my crotch ... everything. Hey, use your wand. Where does it beep? My knee, you moonbat. Grab me there and let me be on my way. But noooooooo ... they have this whole choreographed dance they need to go through. It all adds up to quite a delay.

Sooooo ... Hartsfield Atlanta Airport has one of these scanners. I managed to get to it a few weeks ago on my way to San Antonio. I went through the traditional metal detector and it beeped. The put me in the scanner. It when "whoosh whoosh" and they waved me on. That was it. I don't care if someone in a locked room somewhere saw some sort of an outline of my body. That image, combined with my height, probably convinced them that I was an NBA player, but they were in a locked room so they couldn't tell which one.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz, a Utah Republican is against these scanners. He says "You don't need this kind of scrutiny." Oh yeah? Hey, Jason! Go skiing and bust your knee. Then get the surgery and get back to us.

By the way ... .as long as these scanners are in limited supply, why not have a security line just for people with metal body parts? If that line gets too crowded limit it to first class passengers.

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What others are saying

  • What is hip?
    Lost most of my left hip in Vietnam. Have had 3 replacements since. I also have to go through personal screening every single time. I have a retired Military ID, which I show, a cane and my Purple Heart hat. None of this helps. I know, ID's can be faked, but it does get frustrating which is why I don't fly unless I have too. I also pay up the wazoo to fly 1st class since my legs swell up in coach. But...I don't HAVE to fly if don't want to. So, I have learned to have plenty of time, have shoes untied, and get personal with the TSA guys. I agree...I want a girl to do it! Also, I've always been treated with respect except for one time early when all this began. The guy was a complete jerk but toher than him, all have been very nice. Travelers who have watched me go through the ordeal have often tried to gather up my stuff, when my wife's not with me, and try and bring it to me. Most times they get yelled at by TSA and told to put it back. Kinda brings a tear to my eye to see those strangers trying to help a disabled Vet.
    By 1AirCav69 @ 10/05/09 08:24:25 AMreport abuse
  • Airport Security as an Amputee
    I'm one of those few amputees on active duty in the Army. So every time I fly anywhere it is a complete goat rodeo to get through. I have to be scanned, wiped down, checked for GSR (or whatever those wipes do), and occasionally, if I've been to a range the day before I travel, I come up positive for gun powder or explosives. After all that is taken care of and explained I then collect my stuff and everything. They usually try to expedite me, but still it is aggravating. What is worse is that I went through a security screening that is probably more rigorous than the people patting, but you gotta do what you gotta do. It is better to be inconvenienced then "blowed up". But if the body scanners let me just walk through with ease then I am all for them. I got nothing to hide, and the only thing that bothers me about Airport security is the inconvenience.
    By Rob Callahan @ 10/03/09 05:40:08 PMreport abuse
  • Better than cavity searches
    Since terrorists are now putting bombs in their body cavities, any kind of electronic scanner is better than a manual search.
    http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2009/09/ass_bomber.html
    By Quan Tranh @ 10/03/09 03:13:51 PMreport abuse
  • Neal's NBA Comment about TSA
    Hey Neal -- although you are very tall and appear to be strong enough, you will not be 'mistaken' for a NBA player.
    Your physical appearance is not 'black' enough. There....I said it. No, I'm not Politically Correct. Quick - somebody call the Thought Police, and see if I care!
    By JuanPablo @ 10/02/09 07:40:11 PMreport abuse
  • TSA Scanners
    I wear a prosthetic leg. When I go through security I must remove it so they can do chemical tests on it to check for explosives. I'm surprised they don't surgically remove your knee.
    By Wayne Foster @ 10/02/09 03:54:49 PMreport abuse
  • Libertarian loons?
    It is comical how the members of the fascist party in America will so willingly give up their freedoms in the same of "safety and security" from terrorists. Do you check your closets for the boogeyman before bed too? You are the same people who said, if you don't support the war and the merchants of death, you are UN-AMERICAN!

    Boortz rails against public education, but it is quite apparent that most of his minions are the products of that same system. Never does a strong and blind supporter of "the war on terror" present a decent argument for the over extended arm of the TSA. They never teach critical thinking in government schools I guess.

    These are the same people who simply say, "Well, I have nothing to hide, and if you don't why should you mind someone looking at an image of your naked body?" Neither do 99.999999% of the people who fly, but some people still value their dignity and privacy.

    Perhaps a change in our country's foreign policy would be a good step in weening down these potential "attacks". But dropping bombs on innocent civilians is what makes this war so much fun right?

    If the airlines were responsible for their own security, the libertarians wouldn't have so much trouble with it. How difficult is that to understand? A free market solution?

    We also wouldn't be so bothered by the behaviors of the TSA if our money wasn't forcibly taken from us in the form of taxation, to pay for systems like this, so jack booted ignorant TSA agents could hassle us everytime we brought a tube of toothpaste on a plane that wasn't in a ziplock bag.

    Unfortunately most of you are ok for taxes that build bombs and destroy things. Hippocracy runs rampant these days, yet another reason why this country is on the fast track to destruction.
    By LC @ 10/02/09 02:09:59 PMreport abuse
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6m_Fq6dsIo

    There is absolutely no truth to the vicious rumor that the cause of death for the two technicians who were found dead shortly after Neal passed through the scanner was "died laughing".
    By Jubilation T Cornpone @ 10/02/09 01:44:51 PMreport abuse
  • Forgive me if I strut through, lol.
    I hope it's a femmale watching the scanner, oink.
    By CowboyUp @ 10/02/09 01:20:50 PMreport abuse
  • @stepcousin
    LMAO @ no-no place comment.
    By Gavin Volaire @ 10/02/09 01:09:33 PMreport abuse
  • fly naked
    I will refuse to fly "neckid" unless it is a charter flight with the Hawaiian Sun Bikini Team.
    By booger @ 10/02/09 12:54:19 PMreport abuse
  • Advice for Jimmy Dolan
    Hey J. Dolan, I think you might be a great candidate for a special award. I strongly urge you to apply yourself and try to achieve it.

    For more information, please visit:

    http://www.darwinawards.com/
    By Twistedsaint @ 10/02/09 11:22:06 AMreport abuse
  • not so bad
    When I go to the Falcons games, I ask the frisking guy if he's going to touch my no-no place. He says, "no", and then I ask him why not.
    By stepcousin @ 10/02/09 11:21:52 AMreport abuse
  • Airlines and Civil Liberties
    Some of you are right. You have no "right" to board the airplane. And if the private airline companies wanted to subject people to stupid procedures in the name of "security" it would be OK. And I would find a competitor who profiles instead of searching everyone.

    But this is the GOVERNMENT doing it. It IS civil liberties violation. The government will use any excuse to destroy our freedoms and when they choose the "national security" excuse or the "family values" excuse the idiot Republicans go right along with it. No wonder people don't trust the conservatives.

    BTW - I expect the next step is to force everyone to fly naked and drugged into sleep. It is the only way to be safe.
    By Bill Ritch @ 10/02/09 11:17:43 AMreport abuse
  • neal
    perhaps Neal should pay 50% more for his insurance since he ski's and flies a plane. This makes him more of a health risk than an overweight smoker he always complains about.
    By mharrell @ 10/02/09 11:07:31 AMreport abuse
  • Typical
    Typical republicans love the government increasing security and watching over the citizens
    By Jimmy Dolan @ 10/02/09 10:33:03 AMreport abuse
  • Body scanners
    Homicide bombers are now imitating drug smugglers and storing explosive devices in "body cavities".
    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/09/28/eveningnews/main5347847.shtml
    Maybe the extra scanners are a good idea, if you can't tell just by how they walk. Rectum? Heck it could kill him.
    By Ellen @ 10/02/09 10:15:43 AMreport abuse
  • I'm with you, Neal
    I, too, have an artificial knee. And I HATE flying, especially through Hartsfield, because the TSA people are such MORONS! Before I walk through the scanner, I warn them that it will beep because of my knee. Then when it beeps, they freak out and treat me like they just found Osama bin Laden!

    I have learned to wear slacks that can be rolled up to reveal my scar, but they still insist on wanding and patting me all over. Makes me wonder how they treat actual MIDDLE EASTERN travelers who set off the alarm...
    By DG in GA @ 10/02/09 10:13:52 AMreport abuse
  • To all you "Libertarians"
    From what I gather from you people, it seems the only qualification for being a libertarian is to be completely against any form of government action that might in some conceivable way interfere with your life or inconvenience you in the slightest.

    >>This is for LC, but can also be for all the other libertarian loons out there too.<<

    You do realize that terrorists, or any other armed goons are not exactly beneficial for air travel. Because of this, security is required before one can board a plane.
    I think Neal's take on libertarianism is far more sane than a lot of the posters on this board. I don't feel my 'civil liberties' are violated in any way when I am on a plane and can be reasonably sure that it will not be taken over in midair.
    Are you libertarian, or anarchist?
    By Tsunami Tommy @ 10/02/09 10:05:59 AMreport abuse
  • Not a violation of civil liberties
    It's not a violation of civil liberties: no one is forcing you to get on that airplane.
    By Gringo @ 10/02/09 09:41:33 AMreport abuse
  • Scanners
    TSA people are not known for their humerus observations.
    By Ken Dixon @ 10/02/09 09:33:16 AMreport abuse
  • Full body scanners
    Two things come to mind:

    The first is Total Recall when Aunuld steps threw the security scanner and we see his skeleton and the gun he forgot he was carrying. (haven't watched that one in a while, good action flick)

    The second is from Airplane 2 (or was it the first one?). Whenever a guy walks through, the scanner buzzes. But when a woman walks through a bell rings and she shows up on the monitor nekkid. Like Neal says, men are pigs, but its still funny!
    By Josh Y @ 10/02/09 09:24:14 AMreport abuse
  • Neil's body
    Come on Neil, no woman wants to touch your body.
    By db @ 10/02/09 09:19:50 AMreport abuse
  • Libertarian?
    Once again Neal advocates violations of civil liberties, and still calls himself a libertarian.

    But to a lawyer it is all just semantics right Neal?
    By LC @ 10/02/09 09:14:06 AMreport abuse
  • Weirdness
    Maybe it is because it's buried under so much tissue, but I have a steel plate running most of the length of my left humerus, but no beep beep for me!

    Even the doctors were surprised by this.
    By Gringo @ 10/02/09 08:41:04 AMreport abuse
  • Agree with Neal on Scanners
    I agree completly with Neal here. I know several people who have had similar surguries and experience the same hassle when they fly.
    By East Coast Conservative @ 10/02/09 08:40:52 AMreport abuse
  • Gramps?
    I think grampa needs a ball bra.
    By grandma @ 10/02/09 08:32:20 AMreport abuse
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