You may remember this story from a while ago. In California, a man by the name of Enrique Gonzalez had his 7-year-old son tattooed with a gang symbol. The dog paw print on the boys right hip is supposed to represent Fresno's notorious criminal street gang, the Bulldogs.

So now the case is in court. A judge will decide today whether putting a tattoo on his son (obviously a minor) is considered "permanent or painful disfigurement." If that is the case, Enrique Gonzalez would serve life in prison.

Life in prison may be a bit much. Just have "child abuser" tattooed on his forehead. And while we're at it have "HIV Positive" tattooed on his stomach just below his naval. That ought to lead to some interesting times.

Now ... remember this. This comes from a Hall of Fame radio personality and New York Times bestselling author .. then throw in hot air balloon pilot and lawyer (both requiring a lot of hot air) and you have the complete package. Ready? No woman anywhere at any time has ever enhanced her appearance with the addition of a tattoo. And for you fat chicks out there. Those ankle tats don't take off one ounce.