Hot outside, isn't it? How many of you remember your community swimming pools from your childhood years. These were your oasis from the heat; a place together with your friends. I remember a city pool in Taylor, Texas. When Aunt Joyce or my grandparents would drive me over there for the afternoon I was literally beside myself with joy. They would sit there in the hot summer Texas sun while I splashed in the water. Now ... let me tell you, this swimming pool in Taylor wasn't pretty. There was broken and jagged concrete. Fixtures were rusted. It was the best this poor farming community could do .. and it was fine enough.

In case you didn't know it, there are many swimming pools that didn't open for the summer this year. There are at least five pools run by the Georgia Department of Natural Resources that are closed.

Here's what happened: About 18 months ago a 7-year-old girl was held underwater in an outdoor spa by the drain. These spas circulate a lot of water, and the drain can be strong. Unfortunately she died. Hate to say it, but kids die in swimming pools all the time, and have been doing so for generations. This particular little girl, however, was the granddaughter of a former Secretary of State. Uh oh. Time for the Imperial Federal Government to step in.

So now we have a nifty new federal law that requires fancy new drain covers, sump pumps at the bottom of some pools. We have covers on skimmers and mesh outlets in the sides of pools. All of these new fittings have that wonderful little stamp on them which says that they meet all sorts of federal standards. Trouble is, in some cases the renovations were just too expensive, and so the pools remain closed.

Where does this end? Look, life isn't safe. There are dangers everywhere. If you really want to make pools safe, fill them in with dirt. Do you know that in some communities you aren't allowed to so much as have one of those Wal-Mart plastic wading pools in your back yard unless you have a trained lifeguard on duty? Where is this going? Are we eventually going to get to the point that the federal government appoints a safety watchdog to every American household? We could pass a law requiring that each household set aside a place for a government monitor to live, and that person can then spend six days a week watching the family's every move to make sure they don't do anything that could involve even the most remote chance of danger. The watchdog would get one day off, and on that day the family would be forbidden from leaving the home. They wouldn't even be allowed to plug in or remove an electrical appliance.

I grew up plugging stuff in. Did I ever get shocked? You betcha. It taught me to be more careful the next time. Now when you buy an electrical appliance the first thing you do is get some scissors or a knife to cut all of the warning labels off the cord. And then there's those ugly stickers on your visor telling you about the dangers of airbags with children in the car. The wonderful federal government has mandated that these stickers be impossible to remove. Impossible hell. I know how to remove them, and I take them off of every car I drive ... even the rental cars. That ugly sticker hovering above my eyes is just a constant and revolting reminder of the nanny state we're becoming.

You have seen what's happening in our government schools, haven't you? Children aren't allowed to touch each other during recess --- if there even is a recess - because someone could get hurt. At some schools they won't even let the children outside if the grass is wet. That's why the children in Seattle are so sickly looking. In Florida they lock down schools if someone hears a clap of thunder, and they won't let the kids leave until 30 minutes after the last thunder is heard ... even if their parents are waiting for them in a car outside.

Can you see where this is going? We're raising a generation of wimpy, pasty-faced, candy-assed cowards that are afraid of their own shadows. Watch out! Don't get sucked into that swimming pool drain! No, you can't go outside, the grass is wet. Wait! Was that thunder I heard? Get inside? Tommy! Stop touching people. No, you can't play tag. Someone might get touched. Besides, someone has to be "it," and that hurts their self esteem.

I'd love to write a book on this ... but only if they allow me to title the book. Hold your ears now. Cover the eyes of your precious frightened little children. "The Pussification of America." There. Can't you just see that one flying off the shelves? Can't, though; Someone might get offended.

I wonder if the pool in Taylor is open. Sure is hot there.