This is from a column in the San Francisco Chronicle ... a glossary of Republican doublespeak for all you right-wing conservatives. I'm ticked I didn't make the list.

No commentary necessary ... just read and enjoy.

Activist judges: Judges whose rulings are at odds with the perceived wisdom of Republicans.

Bankers: Stewards of the capitalist system who always know what's best for the economy, who deserve low taxes and big year-end bonuses no matter how poorly their institutions have performed.

Class warfare: Assaults on rich people in the form of the usual whining of poor people.

Clinton, Wm. Jefferson: Democrat president whose sexual dalliance sent the nation into a tailspin from which even George W. Bush could not save it.

Compassionate conservatism: Ignoring the poor, except for an occasional contribution to the collection plate at church. Also see "conservatism."

Democrats: Devil-worshiping scum, foes of free enterprise, champions of the shiftless and the lazy, enemies of hardworking Americans everywhere.

Energy policy: Drill, baby, drill.

Fairness Doctrine: A government regulation once imposed on broadcasters under the mistaken notion that the public airways were owned by the public. Wisely rescinded by Ronald Reagan, paving the way for the careers of Rush Limbaugh, et al.

Fox News: A place where failed newsmen go to live out their golden years (e.g., Britt Hume, Geraldo Rivera), with paychecks provided by an Australian capitalist intent on explaining America to itself.

Gore, Al: Democrat presidential candidate and sore loser who concocted the myth of global warming just to steal joy from the Republicans who beat him.

Greed: The emotion that drives food-stamp recipients.

Justice Department: Agency created to legitimize illegal acts of Republican presidents.

Liberal: Any of a species of lily-livered, weak and effeminate men, or pushy and overly masculine women who have either renounced men altogether, or turned them into "girly-men."

Limbaugh, Rush: A male Mother Teresa for the oppressed captains of business and industry.

New York Times: Propaganda organ, once affiliated with Pravda, now a subsidiary of Al-Jazeera.

No!: All-purpose reply to any idea that doesn't include tax cuts for the wealthy.

Obama, Barack: Inept, inexperienced and inarticulate Negro man elected to the highest office in the biggest mistake the American electorate ever made.

Patriotism: Hoping the nation's leader fails, if he's a Democrat. Hoping the nation's leader succeeds, if he's a Republican.

Pelosi, Nancy: See also "harpy," "harridan."

Poor: People born lacking the gene that creates a solid work ethic, but with an excess number of genes that prompt whining.

Profit: The most sacred goal of human existence. Anything that interferes with its pursuit or acquisition is an affront to God.

Republicans: 1) The only real Americans; 2) Those who uphold traditional American values, such as marital fidelity, and disdain un-American practices such as homosexuality. Republicans uphold these values in public, though they sometimes are found to betray those values in private. They're only human, after all. (see also Vitter, David, or Craig, Larry).

Saint: (n.) See Reagan, Ronald.

Secular humanists: See "spawn of Satan."

Victory: A word foreign to Democrats, who always favor retreat or capitulation to the nation's enemies, foreign or domestic.

Wall Street: The nervous system of America, linked directly to the heart and brain. In short, the essence of this great nation.