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Today's Nuze

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."

Ayn Rand

Nobody's listening.

IN CASE YOU MISSED THIS ...

By
Neal Boortz
@ March 31, 2009 8:38 AM Permalink | Comments (37) | TrackBacks (0)

That ShamWow guy on television? You know, the one with the idiotic pointy hairdo? Well, it seems he's been arrested. OK .. here's how it went down:

  1. The ShamWow guy is Vince Shlomi.
  2. Vince picks up Sasha in a Miami Beach night spot
  3. Sasha is a working girl. That means she's a hooker.
  4. Vince takes Sasha to his hotel room
  5. Vince pays Sasha $1000 for "straight sex."
  6. At some point during the "straight sex" Sasha bites Vince's tongue
  7. Sasha won't let go
  8. Vince is hurting mighty bad
  9. Vince slugs Sasha
  10. Sasha screams and releases tongue
  11. Vince runs like hell .. ends up at hospital for treatment
  12. Sasha gets treated for lacerations and facial fractures
  13. Sasha isn't looking so hot right now (picture)
  14. Even on her best day, this gal is worth a grand?
  15. Maybe she was saving up for a chin implant
  16. Did they clean Sasha up with a ShamWow?
  17. Boortz is wondering how Vince does this damage while she's hanging on to his tongue with her teeth. But then, that's Boortz. Limited experience
  18. Vince looks somewhat better, but where's the pointy hairdo?
  19. When will Vince do a spot for a battered woman's shelter?
  20. Silly women will keep buying those ShamWows.

Do I have to keep you people up to speed on everything?

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What others are saying

  • shamwow/shampow
    Next we'll see these Jackasses on tag team wrestling. Anything to make a buck.
    By pam @ 04/03/09 09:36:21 AMreport abuse
  • New Product
    Could be an intro for a new product...Lip Grip jar opener. It'll clamp down like a hooker on your tongue and never slip.
    By GP @ 04/01/09 08:05:13 AMreport abuse
  • How can you even think
    That kissing a hooker is a good idea....Do you know where that mouth has been? That's just nasty. That girl might put something on you that white gas won't take off.
    By Rob @ 04/01/09 07:37:29 AMreport abuse
  • Check this out.
    In order to better sell the Obama administration's policies Robert Gibbs, White House press secretary to be replaced by

    http://stopthepresses2.blogspot.com/2009/03/in-order-to-better-sell-obama.html
    By Marcus @ 04/01/09 02:52:46 AMreport abuse
  • 1,000 =(
    It is bad now that a 1,000 doesn't buy much now a days
    I wonder what Democrats will do to give the John's more money for hookers (stimulus package)like GM & AIG
    By Pancho @ 04/01/09 12:51:47 AMreport abuse
  • Sham wow
    It'll leave you saying wow
    By BGillman @ 03/31/09 07:21:14 PMreport abuse
  • Sham Wow
    What is Sham Wow?
    By George @ 03/31/09 04:56:15 PMreport abuse
  • Thanks Neal
    Your article and the subsequent comments had me chuckling at my desk. Sometimes we need a little respite from the madness. Reality bites.
    By NCchik @ 03/31/09 03:37:26 PMreport abuse
  • Apparently the only thing the Sham Wow...
    doesn't pick up is hookers.
    By $mooth Operator @ 03/31/09 02:58:29 PMreport abuse
  • Sham WOW!
    I'm not sure, but I think I see a trace of a smile on Vince's face in the profile shot.

    He should thank his lucky stars she didn't clamp down on something else...
    By Moe @ 03/31/09 02:57:41 PMreport abuse
  • Lady of the Evening
    Vince,
    I can't believe you got your face that close to her face.
    Some things soap and water won't wash off!
    By Laughing @ 03/31/09 01:18:59 PMreport abuse
  • In Case You Missed This
    Sasha is a working girl. That means she's a hooker.

    Thanks for clearing that up.
    By Jeff @ 03/31/09 12:48:56 PMreport abuse
  • Sham Wow
    "You'll be saying Sham OW every time"
    By yakman @ 03/31/09 12:15:55 PMreport abuse
  • I feel bad for Vince, worse for the fools that pay $20+ for a $1 product
    The Shamwow is noting but a synthetic chamois. We have sold them for a $1 for years. Billy Mays sold them as Zorb-eez. Vince is nothing but a Midway huckster. He's obviousely not very smart.
    By David Van Oosterwyk @ 03/31/09 11:43:19 AMreport abuse
  • Breech Of Contract
    On another note, Vince and Sasha had an agreement for "straight sex" for $1000. SO when Vince slipped her the tongue he was in a clear breech of that contract and therefor got exactly what he derserved.

    I knew that the Govts refusal to honor the AIG contract bonuses would lead to a slippery slope. No Body respects a contract anymore.
    By Bunker Dweller @ 03/31/09 11:25:34 AMreport abuse
  • Shamwow OW OW OW
    Special thanks to Mike Mellars for making blow my Dr.Pepper all over my computer desk this morning. $1000 for that girl? Please; $10 maybe.
    By jerry @ 03/31/09 11:17:52 AMreport abuse
  • "Your just throwin your money away!"
    Ahh... that some beautiful poetry to live your life by. I personally would rather throw my money away on towels than that prostitute.
    By wxw101 (the Burque) @ 03/31/09 11:00:45 AMreport abuse
  • There's a reason why his close friends call him King Douche
    seriously. This dude is so annoying, but at least he is more entertaining than Billy Mays. "you're gonna love my nuts!" - SlapChop commercial
    By Forrest @ 03/31/09 10:59:26 AMreport abuse
  • Is it Me, or Does He Look a Lil Like Rahmbo??
    Is it me or does Vince's profile mug shot bear an uncanny resemblance to Rahm Emmanuel???
    By Bunker Dweller @ 03/31/09 10:53:00 AMreport abuse
  • Vince
    "You following me camera guy, because we're not going to be doing this all day here." - Vince

    LOL
    By Matt @ 03/31/09 10:43:30 AMreport abuse
  • Shamwow Tongue OW!!
    Is that whore had succeeded in removing his tongue I would've thrown her a banquet.
    By Randy @ 03/31/09 10:36:18 AMreport abuse
  • He must be a democrat.
    You can tell he is a democrat because he was having to pay for sex with a woman. If he were a republican, he would be paying for sex with a man.
    By robert @ 03/31/09 10:24:25 AMreport abuse
  • Sham-POW!
    By Doug @ 03/31/09 10:06:25 AMreport abuse
  • Slam Wooow!
    Seems to be more of a take off on his "Slap Chop" commercial!
    By Jack @ 03/31/09 09:57:21 AMreport abuse
  • ShimSham
    She got slap-chopped for wow-shaming??
    By Ed @ 03/31/09 09:41:05 AMreport abuse
  • Chopper
    I guess she didn't "like his nuts"... You know... the nuts from his Slap-Chop...
    By Trey @ 03/31/09 09:39:45 AMreport abuse
  • Good Money making infomercials
    He must be making pretty good money doing those commercials - $1,000 for the "straight sex", and i think i read somewhere it was a $700 / night room. Not bad work if you can get it !!
    By JimmyRayBob @ 03/31/09 09:36:12 AMreport abuse
  • ...
    Yet another fine use for the ShamWow...soaking up the blood of the hooker you just beat up...are you gettin' this, camera guy?
    By GaHaggis @ 03/31/09 09:34:09 AMreport abuse
  • Good God, Neal...
    You're starting to scare me by putting crap like this on your site. Who gives a flying rats ass!!
    By JoeShmoe @ 03/31/09 09:32:46 AMreport abuse
  • Shaw-Pow!
    By Gavin Volaire @ 03/31/09 09:32:35 AMreport abuse
  • Thank you!
    Now they should get rid of those stupid commercials.
    By Joyce M/Blythe @ 03/31/09 09:17:20 AMreport abuse
  • Shamwow
    Plus, the PD report says he is from "Isreal".

    Now look here, if you can't spell Israel properly, you are qualified for a PD job - it is just right for you.
    By Vince @ 03/31/09 09:10:59 AMreport abuse
  • Vince Shlomi
    That guy's last name is 'Shlomi'? And he was caught with a prostitute? Oh, there's a limerick in there somewhere:

    There once was a guy named Shlomi,
    Who said to a hooker, 'Would you b...

    OK, you get it.
    By Michael Mellars @ 03/31/09 09:10:28 AMreport abuse
  • Hey look,
    they are even wearing matching shirts...
    By Ben Dover @ 03/31/09 09:09:00 AMreport abuse
  • Shamwow Gomer
    Good thing for her he didn't have in hand one of those onion chopper thingys he's hawking. Or, maybe he did.
    By Rick @ 03/31/09 08:58:00 AMreport abuse
  • Not ShamWow, but...
    Is it wrong to say that instead of referencing the ShamWow, this type of story should be referencing another product Slomi hawks - the "Slap-Chop"? I keed! I keed!
    By Steve P. @ 03/31/09 08:57:33 AMreport abuse
  • ShamPow
    Me thinks there was much more than a bite involved in Sasha's beatdown.

    Maybe Vince has a side business?
    By Another Government Employee @ 03/31/09 08:57:26 AMreport abuse
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