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| Urinal Etiquette |
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 Always go to the one furthest away from any being used.
- Never fart loudly and say "Better out than in!"
- Always keep eyes straight in front of you.
- Never try to pee higher than the overflow.
- Do not under any circumstances try to touch the sanitary cubes.
- If only one urinal is left available either use the toilet or hold on for a few minutes. On no account squeeze in.
- Despite alcoholic consumption never try to pee without use of one of your hands guiding your member's directional flow.
- Never attempt any other toilet procedure.
- Limit yourself to only three shakes on finishing - anything more is a criminal offence.
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