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| Parting The Red Sea |
Neal,
Here goes -- when I was 18 or so and a freshman at Mississippi State University in spring of 1966, I had partied a bit too excessively on a Friday night, drinking copious quanitites of Jax beer (it was cheap and cold, about the only good thing about Jax).
So, getting up for Saturday classes (yes, we had Saturday classes then at the Cow College -- a fine land grant institution) was a bit of a struggle, but I did it. My stomach was rebelling against me, but I made it through my Calculus class and whatever other now since forgotten classes I had that morning.
Feeling the need for some food, I went to the Student Union building around 11:30. With my gut roiling and gurgling, I stepped into the food line, to get a plate of fried chicken and french fries for $0.75 (yes, 75 cents). It was crowded, being about the only place to get food, but I had a pocket of hot gas moving down my gut, and not wanting to give up my place in line, I eased it out oh, so quietly. Well, this one was the essence of an SBD......my gut, after a night of that wretched Jax and those greasy burgers and fries at the truck stop we frequented (Len-Lew's), produced a silent stink bomb of unimaginable rankness.
Not wanting to tip my hand on this, I just kept my composure and played it cool, not saying anything until someone else asked, "What died?". I didn't want to give myself away, although the odor was so bad, that some people actually left. With the crowd now thinned out, I had immediate access to the fried chicken lady, so got my lunch immediately -- saving probably 10 minutes or more of waiting in line.
This episode was not the first time, of course, that I had let one in public (and it wasn't the last), but it was the first time that such a release actually worked to my advantage. I'll never forget this episode and the effect it had on my fellow students -- an image that will live in my memory forever. Almost 40 years later, at a reunion in January of this year, one of the guys who was there (and stuck it out by me) still remembers the episode.
He said it reminded him of Moses parting the Red Sea. But I guess you had to be there to appreciate it, or, rather, the effect it had.
VR,
Tom |
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