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| Excuse You! |
This one took place when I was in the fifth grade:
One day, a lady from the 4H Club was invited to talk about this, that, and the other such random things, one of which was the rings on a tree (I remember that part because she had the cross section of a rather large tree with her). Well the cheap government-issue chairs weren't flat-seated or -backed, but had a slight groove in them. If one were to lean back in these chairs, it would be curved enough to fit the shape of a child's back. However, if one were to lean forward, the groove in the chair would serve to conduct airflow and sound vibrations from the child to the rest of the room in much the same way that pipes on a pipe-organ are designed to carry the sound through a church.
Well after the 4H woman had been talking for a while, I leaned forward and did my thing. For a small child, it was rather loud. As a matter of fact, it would've been rather loud for an uncouth adult, too. The 4H woman paused briefly as the rest of the class looked around to determine the origin of the musical chair (giggles erupted from girl who sat next to me). The 4H woman then continued (as if nothing had happened) and was deep into another story when I did it again. This time, she stopped and said "Excuse you" to the whole class as if everyone had all contributed in some small way, which was impossible because this was no small noise. In reply, my classmates all pointed to the general direction from which the "disruption" was emitted. By a method of crude triangulation, it was discovered that I was the culprit. I quickly stopped laughing and appologized to the lady. She asked if I needed to be excused to go to the bathroom, I replied that I didn't, and then I far
ted loudly again. The whole class erupted into laughter. After a few useless minutes trying to calm us down, the 4H woman angrily threw all of her visual aids into her bag and left. Our teacher came in a minute afterwards, yelled at me, yelled at the entire class, yelled at me some more, gave extra homework (like that meant anything in fifth grade), and barred me from recess that day for being so rude. And for the life of me, I couldn't stop laughing during the whole episode.
Submitted by Jonathan |
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