|
| More Than He Bargained For |
My favorite Hot Air story involved my dad and 2 of my brothers. I was about 10 years old, and my brothers were 11 and 9. My dad was a southern gentleman, and always stressed to us how important it was to use proper manners when around girls, ladies, and our mom. (you know, no burping, cussing, or farting) But when dad got out with his boys, he cut up like he was a kid. He'd tell racy jokes, and 'blast away' with the rest of us.
On this one occasion we were on the golf course playing number 5 at the Augusta Country Club. It's a par 5 with a dogleg to the right, and steep woods on the right side. We hit our tee shots and were walking to our golf balls when dad screamed 'Everybody be quiet!' He proceeded to let loose with a blast that made the nastiest sound I had ever heard.....you know.....a 'wet' one! While me and my brothers scattered like frightened cats, I looked back at dad. He had stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes were as big as saucers, and his right hand was patting the back of his trousers 'checking' for the bad news. He made the announcement that he got more than he bargained for on that one, and proceeded into the woods to clean himself up.....with leaves. My brothers and I were literally rolling around on the fairway laughing at him.
This prim-and-proper man had just done the unimaginable.....messed in his pants.
Dad made us promise that we would never tell mom what had happened, and we kept that promise.....until recently. Dad passed away last April, and the family has spent many hours telling memorable stories about him. And yes, the 'Golf Course Blast' story has been told to everyone.
I learned another thing about my dad after he died. He never played another round of golf without having a roll of toilet paper in the bottom of his golf bag. I saw the roll recently, and it was so old that it had turned yellow. I'm glad he never had to use it, because I think it would have disintegrated on him if he had ever 'needed' it.
Submitted by Frank M. |
|
|
Search Boortz.com
