i can't believe i'm writing this. for all that you hold holy, please don't mention my name. almost twenty years ago i was working in the a/p dept of a dept store in athens, ga. one morning, in an office i shared with two other women, in walks one of the floor dept managers to discuss some issue just as i'm trying to quietly slip out to the bathroom so as not to embarrass myself and ruin the air quality of the very tiny room. so i'm forced to sit there, clamped as you can imagine, while she runs on and on about her issue and me just nodding and uh huhing. finally i can stand no more and i stand up to leave the room. big mistake, very big mistake. not short toot toots, no sir, big bass tuba. if you've ever heard bill cosby's skit about noah and the ark, when noah is talking to the lord about the elephant defecating on top of him, that was the sound. so of course all eyes in the room turned to me as i turned purple, muttered 'excuse me' in my most crushed tone and flew o ut of the room. thankfully no one ever mentioned the incident, not even in fun, after i returned from spending mortified minutes in the ladies room. the only upside to the whole thing was that if there was any odor, i totally missed it!!!

anon.