That ShamWow guy on television? You know, the one with the idiotic pointy hairdo? Well, it seems he's been arrested. OK .. here's how it went down:

1. The ShamWow guy is Vince Shlomi.
2. Vince picks up Sasha in a Miami Beach night spot
3. Sasha is a working girl. That means she's a hooker.
4. Vince takes Sasha to his hotel room
5. Vince pays Sasha $1000 for "straight sex."
6. At some point during the "straight sex" Sasha bites Vince's tongue
7. Sasha won't let go
8. Vince is hurting mighty bad
9. Vince slugs Sasha
10. Sasha screams and releases tongue
11. Vince runs like hell .. ends up at hospital for treatment
12. Sasha gets treated for lacerations and facial fractures
13. Sasha isn't looking so hot right now (picture)
14. Even on her best day, this gal is worth a grand?
15. Maybe she was saving up for a chin implant
16. Did they clean Sasha up with a ShamWow?
17. Boortz is wondering how Vince does this damage while she's hanging on to his tongue with her teeth. But then, that's Boortz. Limited experience
18. Vince looks somewhat better, but where's the pointy hairdo?
19. When will Vince do a spot for a battered woman's shelter?
20. Silly women will keep buying those ShamWows.

Do I have to keep you people up to speed on everything?